If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
