ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
