this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
