I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
