Yo dont text me then not text me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
