do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
