Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
