two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
