my soul wont recognize me after tonight
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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