i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
