The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
