I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
