its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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