how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize
