she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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