I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
