He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
