It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
