It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
