forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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