I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
