what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
