I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
