So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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