when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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