I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
