She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
