If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
