just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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