Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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