I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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