just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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