1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
