he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
