You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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