You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
this will be a night to untag.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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