If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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