I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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