I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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