Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
