apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
