You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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