also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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