Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
