he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
