im so drunk with asians
where?
always
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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