like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
