Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Vodka?
Forever.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
