You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
