I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
