if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
