butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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